Today is Day 11 of the Self-Esteem Challenge, originally from Better than Dark Chocolate. It’s a series of questions and prompts to get you thinking about your good qualities and things that make you happy or proud. See my introductory post for more info.
Is your self-talk negative or positive? If it is negative what are some more positive ways to talk to yourself?
My self-talk is sometimes negative, especially regarding my appearance. I will sometimes look in the mirror and think to myself that I’m ugly or fat and it instantly puts me in a bad mood. Lately I’ve had quite a lot of success in combating this. I try to catch myself thinking negative thoughts and change them into positives. For example, when I look in the mirror I try not to think ‘fat’, ‘wide’ or ‘chunky’ but instead tell myself that I have beautiful, sexy curves which my husband loves.
Instead of scrutinizing my imperfections like the dark circles under my eyes or my uneven skin tone, I try to remind myself that my skin is so much clearer now since my teenage years, and it’s looking a lot smoother and more healthy. I try to pick out something that I do like-my hair or my eyes and notice that instead of any so-called ‘flaws’. This is working for me so far, as I’m starting to feel better about my body shape. Doing Zumba has also helped me to embrace my curves.
I’m still quite harsh on myself for forgetting things or being clumsy. I’m quick to get angry with myself if I knock something over, lose something or forget something and sometimes I’ll say things to myself like ‘you stupid idiot!’. I need to work on this more, and remind myself that I wouldn’t speak to anyone else like that if they made the same mistakes, so why do I do it to myself? It’s only going to damage my self-esteem. Instead I need to remember to give myself credit when I do things right and say things like ‘that was really smart of me to remember to do that in advance’. The positive associations should hopefully help me to remember things better!
How do you talk to yourself?